Relationship Readings (or how Tarot saved my marriage)
Relationship readings are hard because;
They involve at least two people.
People are usually looking for a clear answer.
And they usually know what they want to hear.
About eight years ago I did a relationship reading for my marriage, and the cards were 100% clear – headed for divorce. (tower, 3 swords, 5 cups)
Yet I am still happily married to my husband.
The reading highlighted clear flaws in our marriage (not taking time out for each other, both lost in our own exhaustion & not acknowledging the others stress)
Looking at the reading shocked me, yet felt oddly familiar.
Something I knew deep down, but didn’t want to face, was bought firmly into focus.
I decided to always make my husband a coffee when he came home from work. A simple greeting that I was glad to see him, even if my day (with three children under 5) had been beyond exhausting.
Luckily for us he appreciated this small gesture and our marriage (with the odd bumpy bits) grew stronger.
As a professional Tarot reader I have done a lot of relationship readings, from probably every varied angle out there. From the Mistress (how I hate that word) to the wife, to the husband who has left, to the wife who wants to. From the loveless, to the trapped, to the abandoned.
These are my truths that work for me, now;
Know your ethics & boundaries. If you are reading for others and you disapprove of certain relationship issues personally I think it is unethical to read for them. A reading is an objective service where the cards provide the wisdom. If you genuinely can shelve your issues- fine. If not politely decline.
My personal stumbling block is physically abusive readings. I will only read to support the individual in leaving safely, and only after an initial chat, tarot cards away, to make sure I am comfortable that my reading will not be used to offer false hope or security.
Know how you think you get the information, and make sure your client understands this- so you can frame the reading for their best use. My experience is that I can get a reflection of serious others in a relationship reading, and their likely intentions concerning that relationship. But minds & moods change. I see a relationship reading as like a weather forecast reading, it picks up on trends and likelihoods – but no guarantees.
Know what you’ll do if the answer is unclear, or not what hoped for. I always include advice cards for the clients use, sometimes these are ways to best mend or improve a relationship. This takes the focus off deeply probing other/s and back to the one factor that can make the biggest difference- the client.
Be kind. I have been surprised and humbled by the depth of sadness and emotion I have seen in relationship readings. Often people turn to me in complete desperation, perhaps they have never had a reading before. It’s easy to get caught up in spiritual development, empowerment, and self-understanding. But at the end of the day love hurts, love does make the world go round, and a tarot reading can help-even when the news is not what is hoped for.
Be Honest. I read for an amazing gentleman not long ago. He was desperately sad about a break up. He said other readers just told him it would be all right in a few months, and he’d head home hopeful, and nothing would change, and he felt worse each time. He asked me for honesty above all else as being offered false hope was breaking his heart. Strangely I did pick up on hope in his reading, but it was clear his partner was on a knife edge. I was able to offer him some advice for himself, and some reflection on her story. But I was honest, and there were tears from us both.
My first ever paid reading was for a woman having an affair. To connect with her sadness, her genuine love, and the complexity of her situation was an eye opener for me, and a blessing.
Relationship readings have helped me to be far less judgmental, and far more accepting.
Relationship readings have helped me to grow as a person, I have shared many tears with clients & some laughter. They remain a challenge, and my favorite type of reading...