When the cards saw Covid coming
A couple of weeks a go I did my usual 9 card spread. I wasn't really thinking- I was in planning mode, and just wanted a check in.
Three cards for where I am right now- 9 of pentacles (very focused, perhaps over focused on work), 7 of cups ( vision boarding, dreaming about the future), 2 of Wands (hopeful, but some anxiety). This all resonated- that balance between hope and fear, with the suggestion of over work rang very true.
I didn't over think the reading, it resonated, it was the next three cards I was really interested in, the advice cards, and immediate future- "how to make the best of now" - I turned the first one over...
9 of swords. It seemed a jump from the other three, sudden, a cliff face almost. And it felt unexpected. As an advice card, definitely a warning, and I wasn't keen.
Tower. OK, now the cards had my attention- from a reading that totally resonated, to dark cards that were not expected. (I know we always say "there is no bad cards" but- lets be honest The Tower and the 9 of Swords is not a happy combination.) I took a deep breath and quickly turned over the third advice card, hoping for the last card to be a ray of hope.
The Devil! I was a bit gobsmacked. Normally when reading for myself I get the cards that I kind of expected. I felt I was doing alright, I was aware I was over working, my Tarot book had hit various problems that had knocked my confidence, but on the whole I thought I was doing well.
I looked at the three "advice cards", and quickly, very quickly, turned over the final three cards - energy coming in/future.
The Sun, Judgement, 2 of cups.
Where had all the negativity gone? where had all the darkness, feeling trapped dissipated to? How could my life step into these dark cards, and then out of them so quickly leaving me in a better place?
I looked at the card at the bottom of the pack- 4 of swords. Rest, recuperation, time out.
Something nudged at the back of my mind. Illness. Illness would do that, it would stress me out (as a single, self employed mum being ill terrifies me- there is no back up). Illness would make me feel trapped, and anxious. And as my mind joined the dots I was all too aware I had been in contact with someone who now had Covid.
Sure enough, the next day I struggled with my busy day- and postponed several clients. By the evening i just needed to lie down, and the next day I was most definitely ill.
Being ill, without an other adult to support, has been one of my biggest fears. In the end I did manage to get my kids to where they needed to be, a friend helped by dropping a couple of meals off for us, and the kids were incredibly helpful.
I do feel as if I went through a Tower experience- there was so much in my life that I thought I had to do, that felt so important to me. When I had next to no energy left the only thing that really mattered was spending time with my kids. I missed our mealtimes, our walks, our movie nights.
Often the Tower can represent clearing away things that you don't really need- leaving behind a firm foundation. As I integrate work with the need to rest a lot more- I am very careful with what I allow my energy to be spent on. I worry less about the smaller things, and focus more on family and self care.
And yet again I am in awe of how Tarot perfectly reflected the nightmare week that was Covid, but how it would leave me re-focused and almost glad that I had this chance to re-evaluate my life.