Journeying to work with Frigg
I have long resisted teaching a “rune-lore curriculum” because I am very aware that my experience of certain runes is far deeper than others. There are certain deities I love to work with (the more chaotic ones like Freya, Odin and Loki), and there are some deities I have avoided working too deeply with, and perhaps one or two that I love personally but haven't really taught as much.
I know if I was counselling myself I would say those that I have avoided have the most to teach me, and so I have started working with those deities in preparation of teaching a full rune-lore curriculum.
So this week I worked with Frigg....
The foreshadowing of the work was deeply intense. Even as I set up in the barns- usually a job I love for the peace and pottering- I felt anxious, uncomfortable, as if something uneasy was being stirred up within me.
We have a settled routine now for exploring a rune (though often we have stuck to those that suit us as a group). We use lokk-seidr (a chant) to explore the sound of either the name of the deity, or the sound of the rune- and sometimes both. Then I take the group on a drummed journey, through the rune, to meet the deity and connect with the energy.
We started off by chatting a little about Frigg. Her stories in the mythology, her animal and tree associations, how we had experienced her energies up to this point. We talked about the roles of mother in our lives- our own mother, our mothering.
For the chant we used the rune sound “bjork”. It had a gentle, grounding feeling. I felt it most in my sacral and root chakras, as if it was holding my space with great care. To me it felt circular, had a spiral energy, “holding with care” is probably the best description. I was surprised- I normally prefer the more active, masculine, “pushy” chants. Those with high energy, but I could have chanted “bjork” for a very long time.
The drummed journey, as usual, had some shared experiences- as well as some very personal insights.
As a group there was a connection with kindred, loved ones and family. A sense of fires, people gathered, dancing, and joy. The journey seemed for most a calm one, grounded, felt deeply in the body rather than visual.
When I first met Frigg she was sat in a large wooden chair. She stood up and asked if I wanted to sit in her chair, she said I had spent too long sat in Hel’s chair (both a literal reference, and suggesting I had created a sense of isolation to cope with the last two years). I was reluctant to sit in her chair, I have grown quite comfortable with my relationship with Hel. But I sat to experience her energy. I was comfortable at first, like easing into a relaxing space. But I started to feel anxious, I struggled to catch my breath, I felt panicked. Frigg gave me her hand and helped me to stand saying “it’s strange to finally just stop”. I knew it was time to lead the group onwards in the drummed meditation- I was shown a path leading through the woodlands, opening out to a beautiful grasslands with a firepit and people gathered. I could feel that most of the group had followed me to this place, and drummed to allow their experience.
As I looked around the firepit many people were gathered- chatting, dancing, gathered. There was Frigg’s chair again, and she sat just watching. I walked around the fire, and again she asked me to sit a while on her chair. I could hear the sound of the “Bjork” chant in the distance, and slowly sat in her chair.
Again this mixed sense of anxiety and peace (and they can both exist in the same moment!). A feeling of being grounded, deepening, as if the world around me slowed and I could experience more. As I looked around at the people gathered around the fire I could sense them on a personal level, I enjoyed just being in the moment. It seemed to last a long time- I was aware of my physical self drumming, of the sense of the others in the barns, but most of all I was just being.
I felt Frigg standing behind me and heard the words “you can not be ‘on’ all the time”. Then she helped me to stand and I started to led the group back to the mundane world. In the days following this journey I have felt more tired than usual, and less able to cope with the hectic nature of my life. As if my ability to cope with stress has been lowered slightly. I see this as a good thing, allowing me to have better boundaries in my life- I have prioritised rest more than usual.
I am glad to have had the chance to connect with Frigg more deeply, and have several more group sessions with her planned. I was aware of my stress levels, but basically ignored them. I feel more connected to my body now, as if the whole experience has gently grounded me.