Third Party Readings
A topic with a lot of controversy!
What is a third party reading?
Any reading that is not directly focused on the person sat in front of you.
I would say we all do third party readings
To a degree I argue that all Tarot readers MUST include some third party readings, because every client I have ever read for has had a problem that includes "others" somewhere.
Whether it is work colleagues, issues with parents from childhood, past partners or current relationships we are a mixed tangle of our relationships, and they have to be reflected & addressed in a tarot reading.
It is a matter of "degree"
The important distinction each Tarot reader must make, for themselves, is the degree of third party information. I think it's important we respect each individual readers choice. I also think it is important a choice has been made, that this problem has been considered based on the readers ethics & skill.
Totally Client Focused
Maybe you feel that it is unethical to read for anything other than your clients relationships?
Perhaps asked "Does my husband love me?" You would re-phrase that to "Do you love your husband" , "How can you strengthen your marriage" or "is this marriage in your best interest?"
The re-framing of the question allows you to read for questions that include a third person, but to keep your integrity intact.
Every question you read for, though it may include others, is always focused on your client.
Each Situation is Unique
When I first started reading professionally I took the decision that my clients intent was my judgement point. I would do third person readings if they focused on my clients relationship with the other person & I felt comfortable with their intent.
"Does Ben next door fancy my friend Claire" I would not have read for this, as I would feel it has no direct connection with my client.
"How can I best help my friend Susan, she's having a difficult time" I would read for this, as the focus is not on the friend , but the relationship.
The "how I can I best help my Mother/daughter/husband" Is a common way I rephrase a question so I feel the focus is not to intrusive on a third party, yet I can still offer help to my client. (Rather than answering a direct "How is my Mother")
The Tarot is a tool, I channel
Over time I have moved from the previous understanding to this. I have learnt to trust the tarot, the process, the client, perhaps myself. I am much more willing now to read for a third person.
As an online Tarot reader I get asked for a lot of relationship readings. They may not be every readers favourite but I quite like the complexity of all the different pieces.
I always describe a Tarot reading as picking up the energies at that moment, things can change. I never offer definitives, but trends and likelihoods.
An interesting pattern has developed, with clients booking mini readings to help them focus on their relationship, perhaps every few months. I have come to be able to see how the energies of the different people are flowing (because lets be honest, there are often more than 2 in a relationship). I can see who is vulnerable and protective, who has secrets to hide, where the arguments lie,
And my opinion has changed as a result of these readings. As a married woman I was always somewhat judgmental about affairs and those who date married (or committed) individuals. I have come to see that there is pain and sadness on all sides. Often fear and loneliness too. Life is complicated and difficult, most of us are just trying to do the best we can- even if it looks mad and strange to others.
A big part of me writing this blog, having seen quite heady discussions on why you should never offer third party readings is to say; I do.
My experience with established clients (who return over the months or years) is they are accurate, they do help, and no one has ever ditched a partner on my say so.
My reading has been one small part of a long and wide process. My reading has confirmed what they all ready knew,
There are a lot of different readers & reading styles out there. Which is useful because there are a lot of different clients too.
What I don't read for
Health ( I will offer advice on holistic support, only after advising that the client sees a health care professional. If I feel they will use my reading to avoid professional help I will not read.)
Anything I feel uncomfortable with. I've had a few, but actually the vast, vast majority of people that ask for a reading are genuine and looking for direction about their own life.
I cover lots of the difficult Tarot question in my book "Tarot for beginners, your questions answered" Take a look here; https://www.maddyelruna.co.uk/my-tarot-book