My latest podcast is all about affirmations... you can listen right here. x
A little calm...
Life is hard now, for so many- and for so many reasons.
A lot of my work is helping people to learn practical tools to regain a little more calm in their life- to find the mental strength needed to navigate tough times.
This page will include free resources to help you- as well as (in time) links to ongoing courses and circles I will offer to support mental health.
If you were a regular user of my led meditation page, it's still available- right here.
The power of a calming breath..
I don't want to get too technical here - but basically put your breath is one of the ways your body knows life is safe again.
When we are stressed our body chemistry changes to give us the best chance of surviving that stress. In the wild our body would put every focus on running away from the lion, then when we had escaped we would bend over, or perhaps lie down, breathing deeply into the lungs (watch sprinters after a race). These deep, long, breaths tell the body that the stress is over and all is well.
But in modern day we live with back to back "mini-stresses" and never let our body know that all is well. Perhaps you get stressed finding a car parking spot. You breathing gets faster, shallower. You find the spot, park up, but the shopping centre is busy, you have limited time, so you move from stress to stress without ever fully breathing deep.
A few deep breaths is a simple way of letting your body know "we are safe right now".
Deep, regular breathing:
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Lets your body (nervous system) know that you are safe.
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It moves you out of stress response, and can clear the mind to allow better focus.
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It reminds you to pause, to think, to stop reacting.
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It breaks the manic stress cascade of "Panic"!
I try to take three deeper breaths when ever I move from one task to another. If I have been working and I go into the kitchen to make a drink that is the chance to take a 5 minute "brain break" from my work. But its too easy to move into the kitchen in full "work mode" and never really feel that I had any break.
So when I finish at my desk I pause, I breath, stretch, then leave my work at the desk.
When I sit in the lounge with my kids, I pause, breath, and remind myself to switch off from work.
When I go for a walk, I breath deep before putting my shoes on, to remind myself to step into the walk, and out of stress mode.
I use breath as the punctuation mark in my daily life.
The most powerful way to create change is to change your habits.
I know I go through a "well being yo-yo" pattern, that you may well recognise. My mental health/feeling of overwhelm hits unbearable. I decide "this has to change" and suddenly create a whole new schedule for myself. I will get up earlier, cut down on caffeine, exercise daily... etc. etc. etc. The thrill of the new schedule fills me with hope, I have an initial buzz of adrenalin and happy hormones. But it is impossible to stick to, with in a week it is in taters, by the end of the month nothing remains and I feel slightly disappointed- but am too much back into my old habits to really notice.
The way to break this pattern, and create sustainable change is to change your habits. That way whatever new habits you have introduced weave seamlessly into your life- and they will stick through the good times, and the bad.
Its easy to overlook habits- but actually most of your decisions in life are habitual. Which mug you reach for, where your keep your keys, a million small decisions automated to allow your brain to make the important decisions.
Start small, and choose something that will make a big impact!
Success breeds success, so start with something easy to achieve, but that you know will impact your life. Make it something you can fit into your life every day, or at least every "work day". On the audio I share some of the habits I have changed, and am in the process of changing.
Try to think about one thing you can do that will make an impact on your life, and is easy to stick to. It doesn't have to be around health- it could be to do the washing up at night to make the mornings easier, to replace a morning chocolate bar with a healthier alternative, to clean the kitchen surfaces each morning instead of waiting until the kitchen feels overwhelming.
Think small, repeatable, easy to integrate, and something that will make a difference to you.
You don't understand - my life is too crazy to even manage that!
I share this concept with a lot of clients, and sometimes their overwhelm is so great even this level of simple change feels impossible.
I hear you, I understand, I have been there too.
The key then is to leverage something already in your life to make it work better for you.
Do you shower daily? Make this a mindful shower.
Do you drive daily? Use this time to listen to an inspiring play list or audio book.
Even the daily washing up can be a time for reflection if you pop some music on.
Find something you already do- and tweak it to improve your life.
Build it up as you go..
I am at the stage where I am running with this technique. I have changed a few core habits (my most powerful one being drinking at least one herbal tea a day) and I am now introducing several habits into different areas of my life.
I use my journal to track my habits-keeping track of when I have kept up with, or missed a habit.
If you find yourself struggling, be kind to yourself and practice "Planful problem solving"...
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Acknowledge the difficulty (and be realistic- are you not meditating for an hour a day because its just not achievable, do you need to move the times slightly, or set a more realistic habit?)
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Learn from the difficulty, see it as an opportunity to grow rather than a failure.
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Redefine your goal/habit and try again.
I tried to start each day with journaling and meditating, but I was not keeping up with this on my non-work days. It felt too much like "work!" which in turn meant I was slipping on my work-days a I felt like I was failing.
I redefined this to "I start each work day with meditating and journaling, I start a leisure day with reading in bed".
Take your time, track your habits in a journal, and adjust as you go. Weave helpful habits into your life, and watch how in time your whole life changes!