The fun of relationship readings
I love doing tarot relationship spreads, and as yet (there’s always a first) I’ve never been bored by the typical “do they love me?” question.
Firstly – love hurts, and if a client has taken the time to pay me for a reading then it is my job to understand it is important to them.
Secondly- love is complicated, people are complicated, and I love a challenge!
In relationship spreads I like to look at each person first, before looking at the relationship (or whether there ever could be a relationship). This is valuable because it allows my client to validate my reading as accurate. If I just do a prediction spread, and it does not reflect my client’s hopes, they are likely to reject it, leading to the merry-go round of booking endless readers hoping for the “right answer”.
Reading one- connecting to how my client is really feeling…this allows my client to validate my reading as accurate. It also brings the reading to focus on the most important thing- my client (or you if you are reading for you!).
All the "will they, won't they's in the world are not as important as understanding and processing YOUR emotions.
Card 1- the core of the person
Card 2- a block, problem or issue
card 3- the unconscious
card 4- the past
card 5- the conscious mind
card 6- the future
card at the bottom of the pack, you need to know this.
I refer to this as my "reflection" spread.
Reading two- connecting to how “the other” is really feeling. (repeating the reflection spread) I know there is a lot of discussion about the ethics of third party readings. But this spread is focused on how “other” is feeling about my client. If they don’t really have feelings, or thoughts about my client this will be reflected in the cards. I’m not digging around for secrets and hidden feelings, I am asking a focused question focused on my client. Often my client will validate this reading, sometimes they will be frustrated that it isn’t saying what they hoped it would- but usually it “feels right”.
This process of validation builds my trust in the reading, and my client's trust in me. The problem with pure predictive readings is we have no way of knowing how accurate they really are… so anchoring them in the present offers a better chance of knowing we are on track.
Then, and only then, do I move into the actual relationship spread. Again- it is focusing on how each person feels about the other, and includes a “block” or “problem” card. This may refer to another person (an existing relationship), work, home, distance. It may refer to not feeling good enough, still being focused on a past relationship.
card 1-you (or client)
card 2- a block or issue
card 3- how they are feeling/interacting/presenting towards the other
card 4- the other
card 5- a block or issue
card 6-how they are feeling/interacting/presenting towards the other
card 7- the past
card 8- the present
card 9- the future
card at the bottom of the pack, something that needs to be known.
The relationship reading may make it clear that there isn’t really a deep connection, more a whim or a fancy. It may show a delightful relationship developing, or (sadly too often) genuine love but the compatibility or timing just isn’t working.
Hopefully the process will have helped my client better understand themselves, as well as the other person. Rather than just answer the old "do they love me" question.