I read for a wide variety of clients. They may be upset, angry, devastated, worried, confused, scared….I am never quite sure what my client will be feeling.
Often a client will point the finger of blame very clearly on another person. Their boss, wife, daughter (just fill in the name) is making my life impossible because……
Usually on a personal level I completely agree with my client that this named “other” is a real pain. I do a relationship reading to see the dynamics at play- and it can be quite a toxic entanglement.
Where tarot is so useful though is bringing the focus right back to the client. In the end (unless we wish to take risks with magic) we are not able to control anything but ourselves. All the deep understandings of the relationship, acceptance of the others crap behaviour, is completely useless unless my client starts to take responsibility for how they can change the situation.
What is the one thing I can reflect in a reading that a client can control? Not the other person, nor the amount in their bank (or on their credit card), not that their boss suddenly likes them, or world changes give up and work somewhere else.
It is their attitude.
As long as a client believes the sole responsibility for their;
Or whatever else it may be….
Belongs to someone else they will remain in the grip of their problem. Believe me it can be an intense struggle sometimes “I know xx has really really hurt you, lets focus now on your emotions, not XX”
Slowly, gently, finding the place of responsibility in my client, instead of out “there”. Not to say sometimes the main bulk of the problem isn’t “out there” but how can that help my client?
That is why I always like to include “action” (or advice if you prefer) cards in my spreads. What can you do right now to improve the situation?
Perhaps my client needs better boundaries (any of the kings or the queen of swords, perhaps a minor 4, or the Emperor).
Maybe my client is avoiding the issue and escaping reality- alcohol, box sets, or simply day dreaming? The moon, or heavy on the cups could indicate that (especially a combination of devil, 7 of cups, queen or king of cups)
Sometimes a client is “stuck” in the thinking they are going to deal with the situation, but never actually gets any further. Lots of sword cards can show this. I love to see the ace of swords- it shows that by having a clear plan my client can sort this out. I think of the ace of swords as “success in adversity”
The 8 of cups, 4 of swords or 6 of swords can indicate that my client needs a break to be able to understand things. It is all too easy to get used to a difficult situation, and then to be too exhausted to make changes.
This is how tarot changes the world. Sometimes it can happen really quickly. Like the desperately unhappy man- it was obvious from the first spread he wanted to end his marriage. I think hearing his deepest feelings expressed through the cards was quite an eye opener. When he came back the next week he had moved out.
Usually it is a gradual change. I have a lot of repeat clients & I can see them change. From waving at “the problem over there” to feeling empowered and calm. The strangest thing is- often not a lot else changes. My client changes their attitude, stands central in their life- and life often feels a whole lot better.